Dirty Christmas Poems

A collection of dirty Christmas poems by Paul Curtis which intended for a teenage and adult audience. The poems are essentially funny poems about Christmas which happen also to be rude, risque, or occasionally frankly filthy.

Father And Christmas

A poem which is hardly dirty at all, but provides an opportunity either to get your eye in or, if offended, storm off in disgust.

Who’s The New Guy?

A mildly scatological poem about the mystery tenth reindeer and how he got his name. Pedants who insist that there were only ever eight reindeer - Rudolph was is the invention Disney and not a real reindeer - will either have to play along with the pretence or skip this poem.

Chimney Nook

It would be wrong to call Chimney Nook a poem about sex, as it's really a poem about an absence of sex.

All I Want For Christmas # 1

A dream, a wish list and a fantasy all rolled into one delicious little poem.

All I Want For Christmas # 2

A companion piece to the above poem which covers the same ground in a slightly more delicate fashion.

A Gift For Maria

A very long, very funny poem about a misunderstanding between a couple which has unintentionally hilarious consequences.

Emptying Santa’s Sack

Best described as a twisted Christmas poem, Emptying Santa’s Sack is in equal measure funny and cruel.

A Christmas Wish

Another poem which could equally well have born the title Emptying Santa’s Sack.

A Hand For Santa

And a third.

Snow Show

Sanity restored, with a straight funny poem about a cock-up on the TV weather bulletin.