Funny Poems About Growing Old

Paul's funny poems about growing old focus on the physical deterioration that characterises aging and the psychological distress that results. From this point on, it's downhill all the way.

From Beginning To End

From school days
To pay days
From a lowly newbie
To the top of the tree
From earning a salary
To redundancy
From numerous applications
To endless rejections
From a life of worth
To a state of dearth
From adolescence
To obsolescence

Sleeping Beauties

Men wake up looking pretty much as they did
The night before when they went to bed
While women wake up looking an awful fright
Because they manage to deteriorated during the night

Body Image

I am not perfect
My figure is not the best
Some bits I really hate
But I do quite like my breasts
I have flabby thighs,
Which I would happily condemn
But fortunately my stomach
Obscures the view of them

Playtex Woman

What with middle age spread
And the force of gravity
Time has played havoc
With my once sylph like body
My hour glass figure is no more
Alas it’s more like a barometer case
And my “cross your heart” bra
Is more of a “cross your waist”

New Resolve

My New Year resolution
Was to find a solution
To my misshapen figure
And lack of vim and vigour
Though feeling rather grim
I signed up for the gym
First came the orientation
And equipment demonstration
I was told of suitable clothes
Something loose that flows
I said “the reason or the point
Of me being in this joint
And why I signed up tonight
Is all my clothes are tight”

Copyright © Paul Curtis