Halloween Poems

Halloween is the strangely trifurcated festival which falls on 31st October. Halloween's origin lies in the ancient Celtic festival of samhain, which marked the start of winter and in true pagan fashion involved real witches and communion with the dead. The Christian Church subsequently appropriated the festival by moving All Hallows' Day, also called All Saints Day, to 1st November, which made 31st October All Hallows Even (the Eve of All Hallows), contacted in time to Halloween or Hallowe'en. The final incarnation of the Halloween story is Trick or Treat, which seems to be embraced with gusto in the United States , where no opportunity to eat huge quantities of candy ever goes unmissed, and generally reviled in England, where it is seen as an opportunity for feral youth to behave in a particularly uncouth and menacing manner.

Funny Halloween Poems

There are just a couple of Paul Curtis' funny Halloween poems to enjoy for 2007, since Halloween was almost upon us it was decided to start the Holiday Poetry section of the site. As one might expect, the poems take the English view of Halloween and the shenanigans that surround it.

OH NO, NOT HALLOWEEN AGAIN

It’s that time of year again, Halloween
Oh how I hate it and its practitioners
All year round we tell our children
“Don’t accept sweets from strangers”
We instill in them from an early age
“Don’t ever approach or talk to strangers”
Then at Halloween we send them out
To ask for sweets at the doors of strangers

When children dressed as monsters
Terrorize the neighbourhood
Begging from door to door
Demanding sweets and treats
For not vandalizing your property
The older children or should I say yobs
Wear masks and disguise them selves
Clearly training for a life of crime
A yob in a funny outfit is still a yob

It’s that time of year again
The night of night to ignore the doorbell
Its not twee or cute it’s just annoying
I try to be polite when I shoo them from my door
But I know I will get up next morning
With fake blood smeared on the front door
Eggs smashed on my windscreen
And rubbish strewn across my garden
God I hate Halloween and its practitioners

The second is a new poem by Paul Curtis, written in response to my plea that we distinctly lacking in Halloween poems and might have to pretend the festival didn't exist.

ALL HALLOWS EVE

I hide behind the sofa quivering in fear
Now the witching hour is near
The curtains are drawn tight
And I’ve turned off the lights
The TV volume is way down low
I sit and cower it its feeble glow
Then comes the knock upon the door
And I curl up quivering on the floor
My heart is pounding my breath is shallow
My mouth is dry it’s hard to swallow
On all hallows eve I live in mortal dread
But not of monsters or the un-dead
The fear that turns my heart to stone
Is Trick or Treaters knowing I’m home

Who knows, there may be a plethora of new poems for Halloween 2008, or more likely a mad last minute scramble to write a few....