Funny Poems About Old Age

A collection of funny poems about old age by Paul Curtis, which focus on the physical and mental deterioration associated with the twilight years. The poems are intended to be gently humorous and warmly affectionate, not disrespectful or hurtful. (Just in case the grey panthers turn on Paul and tear him limb from limb)

Don’t Throw Me On The Scrap Heap

Don’t throw me on the scrap heap
Just because I’m old
I still have talent and skills to offer
If I may be so bold
My talent is called multi tasking
Or so I’ve been led to believe
And I can simultaneously wet myself
And laugh, cough, fart and sneeze

Over The Hill

As a young man in the full flower of youth
I had more than my fair share of adventures
Now the best I can manage, to tell the truth
Is staring at the glass that holds me dentures

Ageing Population

In the future, maybe forty years or so
The nursing homes will just overflow
With sweet little silver haired old biddies
Doting on their numerous little grand kiddies
As they sit peering thru bifocal glasses
With faded tattoos on their wrinkled arses