All About Sex

I asked my daddy what sex was about,
He threw a punch at my head.
Daddy told me I was a disgusting young fellow,
And told me to go straight to my bed.

Where I layed and played with my winkle,
And layed and rubbed at my plumbs.
Lying thinking about the girl next door,
When I should have been doing my sums.

So I asked my mum what sex was about,
She growled at me and then threw a punch.
I was locked in my room till four O’Clock,
While she went out for a bar lunch.

And in my room I played with my twinkle,
As I looked at a book full of sluts.
Her on page nine I liked the best,
As I sat there stroking my nuts.

Then I asked my sister what sex was about,
She flattened me with a right hook.
Then ripped out all of the pages,
From my daddies disgusting rude book.

And then she sent me off to my bed,
Where I rubbed very hard at my goolies.
I heard the front door slam very hard,
As she went to go shopping at Woolies.

Then I asked my grandpa what sex was about,
He whacked me with a big bit of wood.
Then told me I was a very bad boy,
For even uttering a word quite so rude.

And again I was sent into my room,
Where I tugged it and pulled it like mad.
As I looked at the pictures of naked girls,
In the book that belonged to my dad.

I asked my teacher what sex was about,
Who told me to come back after class.
She’s the only one who gave me an answer,
As she stood there flashing her ass.

And she showed me what sex is all about,
By God she showed me the lot.
After school I went back to her bedroom,
We were lucky we never got caught.

I now know what sex is all about,
My teacher taught it all to me.
I’m still waiting for the bill to come in,
There is no way that this is for free.

My daddy asked me what sex was about,
As I sat on my bed doing my sums.
His hand was inside his left pocket,
As he sat there playing with his plumbs.