Americanisms

The British call it a pavement,
The Americans call it a sidewalk.
I done something bad when I was a boy,
And it left the old lady in shock!

The Americans say they’re going to get laid,
That means they’re going to have sex.
I done something bad when I was a boy,
I sat on the ministers specs.

Take two bits of toast and jam,
Stick them both in your ear.
Eat a whole school of fish for supper,
Then wash the whole lot down with beer.

The British call it their bottom,
But to the Americans it is a fanny.
I done something horrible when I was young,
I poured a tin of custard over my granny.

Take two bits of toast and jam,
Stick them into your ear.
Eat a whole wilder beast for dinner,
Then go to the bar for a beer.

The Americans call them diapers,
But to the British, they are just nappies.
At the end of the day they do the same thing,
Holding together young babies crappies.

We Brits put things into the cars boot,
While the Americans put them into its trunk.
I done a nasty thing when I was a wee boy,
I told the joke about the nun to a monk.

Take two bits of toast and jam,
Stick both slices into your ears.
Eat a whole flock of sheep for breakfast,
And wash the whole lot down with beers.

People in Britain go on their holidays,
But the Americans go on vacation.
I done a rude thing when I was a boy,
I’ll admit I gave into temptation.

The Americans live in apartments,
But to the British they are just flats.
I done a horrid thing to my aunties once,
I sat down on all of their hats.

Take three bits of toast and jam,
Stick all the slices into your ears.
Eat a whole field of potatoes for lunch,
Then wash the whole lot down with beers.

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