Funny Poems

This initial selection of funny poems by Topoke, who joined the site as a Guest Poet in the autumn of 2007, provides just a taste of his work. There has been not attempt to classify the poetry according to subject, but the poems progress in intensity from clean, light verse through to some disgustingly dirty poems.

Leaping Pierre

A gently humorous poem about a Frenchman who simply loved to dance...

Americanisms

England and America are described as two nations divided by a common language, a notion which this slightly nonsensical poem plays upon.

Old Aberdeen

A deeply nostalgic poem about the charms of Aberdeen, the place of the protagonist's birth.

And the Beatles are Still Feeling Fine

A funny and cleverly executed poem about the Beatles and other performers on the music scene during its golden age.

Cartoon Land

Offers a humorous look back at the era when every child spent Saturday morning at the local cinema captivated by cartoons.

Cattle Call

Not a poem for vegetarians, but for others it provides a wry and amusing depiction of life on a cattle ranch on the day of the big slaughter.

My Boomerang

A funny, bittersweet poem about a young boy's attempts to get his new boomerang to perform as every boomerang should.

Mrs Craddock's Cookbook

It's worth mentioning that Fanny Craddock is not some obscure piece of cockney rhyming slang, but was the name of an incredibly posh TV cookery presenter back in the days of black and white television.

I Wish I Could Be a Movie Star

A funny poem in which the writer dreams of a life as an actor on the big screen.

Air Guitar

A deliberately and deliciously ambiguous poem about a teenager playing his air-guitar in front of his bedroom mirror.

Juicy Fruits

As its title suggests, a poem which is both fruity and juicy, yet hides a little conceit...

All About Sex

A coming-of-age poem in which a schoolboy discovers everything that he ever wanted to know about sex from his practically-minded teacher.

My First Stiffy

If you come from the sort of background where an sons proudly boast at the breakfast table, 'Look Mummy, my first stiffy' to announce the arrival of thier first formal invitation to a society event, you may find this poem a trifle bemusing.

Always Remember

The poem comprises a series of warnings as to what you should do to avoid causing offence and is, as a result, itself somewhat offended.

Mothers Come Home

Don't be lulled into a false sense of security by the opening lines, Mothers Come Home is a sick animal poem in the sense of a sick poem about animals, rather than a poem about sick animals.

Flying in a Boeing 747-400 Series

A scatological poem about an unpleasant plane journey which, like its title, contains perhaps just a bit too much information.

More Tea Vicar

A funny, filthy, no holds barred poem about what happened when the rather uncontrollable vicar came to tea.