21st Century Nursery Rhymes 10
If you've made it past the century mark, you'll hardly need an explanation of the style or tone of Paul's contemporary nursery rhymes.
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 96
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as night
And in the winter snow
It stood out against the white
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 97
One two buckle my shoe
Three, four, Velcro you wore
Five, six, slip-ons you pick
Seven, eight, lace them up straight
Nine, ten, slip-ons again
Eleven, twelve, dig and delve
Thirteen, fourteen, specialist shopping
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 98
One two buckle my shoe
Three, Four, Excuse me miss?
Do you have these in a size 10 sling-back?
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 99
Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother forty whacks,
And her defence in court would be
She was suffering from PMT
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 100
Lizzie Borden took an axe,
And gave her mother forty whacks,
When she saw what she had done,
She gave the bitch another one
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 101
Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross
To see a fine lady upon a white horse
With rings on her fingers and bells on her toes
If you give her ten pounds then anything goes
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 101+1
Ride a cock horse to old Kings Cross
To find a lady of the night of course
With tattoos on their hips and a stud thru the nose
And a couple of quid buys you a couple of ho’s
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 101+2
Ride a cock horse to old Kings Cross
To find a lady of the night of course
Who gets down on her knees and gives the best blows
And you can come in her mouth till it comes out her nose
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 102
Mary had a little secret
She was a bit of a lush
She was not white as snow
But pure as the driven slush
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 103
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a horse
She never ate her ride
But ate the lamb of course
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 104
Mary had a little lamb
It died but she wasn’t sad
She did love her little lamb
But she really loved kebabs
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 105
Mary had a little skirt
It was way above knees
And when she sat down
You could see her fleece
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 106
Mary was a little tart
Who really put it about
Young men flocked to her
And none of them went without
21st CENTURY SAUCY NURSERY RHYMES # 106+1
Mary was a little flirt
With big seductive eyes
And many a lucky lad
Had been between her thighs
21st Century Nursery Rhymes # 107
Hush a bye baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
But don’t worry it’ll be ok, if you live in Harringay
Copyright © Paul Curtis. All Rights Reserved
