Reading parodies of short and largely indifferent festive poems can leave you with feeling that you've consumed more than was good for you, but nothing of real substance. Paul's parodies of Christmas Day in the Workhouse are light and fluffy, so I suggest you treat them as an amuse bouche before tacking some more substantial Christmas poetry.
The first of a series of parodies on the theme of Christmas Eve / Day in the Workhouse. Readers who aren't members of the literary cognoscenti may wonder what the dickens is going on.
It’s Christmas Eve in the workhouse,
And not a hint of the seasons in sight
No stockings hang by the fireside
They’ll be no treats in store tonight
As day follows night, so we move on to the first of the parodies of Christmas Day in the Workhouse.
It’s Christmas day in the workhouse
Just another grey day to endure
If we’re lucky we’ll dine on mouse
And Oliver will still be asking for more
More workhouse misery as the inmates are made to subsist on meager rations…
It’s Christmas day in the workhouse
Just another grey day to endure
We have been promised nouvelle cuisine
So Oliver will be asking for more
…but it could all be much, much worse.
It’s Christmas day in the workhouse
Just another grey day to endure
We are being treated to pot noodle
So Oliver won’t be asking for more
Don't miss Paul's companion collection of parodies of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas.