Parody in excelsis

A poem which might prove too close to the bone if you're a shopaholic urban lowlife without two neurons to rub together.

Category

Funny Christmas Poems

Sub-category

Max on Xmas

Author

A Christmas Legend

Once in loyal moron city, stood a lowly shopping mall,
Where some people invented Christmas, to sit neatly between the spring and the fall,
They created gift-giving and Christmas-card-sending,
And mince pies and Yule logs and profligate spending,
And Santa and Reindeers and Apple Computers,
And, did I say presents, for stupid commuters.

And a Christian stood up and said, beg your pardon, but Christmas is ours, it's our special day,
But by then they were raking the cash in in millions, so they locked up the Christians and stowed them away.

And chocolates and toffee were platinum currency, and Newbury Fruits were flowing like wine,
As turkey and pudding and nibbles from Iceland, were fed to the people who came to enjoin.
So, forget what you've heard about goodness and good will, forget what you've heard about peace on this earth,
The angel of God has only one message, keep spending, keep spending, for all you are worth.

Copyright © Max Scratchmann. All Rights Reserved

first previous index next last