Aunts

You mustn't be fooled by their features.
They look sweet, and kind, and gentle,
Some would say quite ornamental,
But they're really scary creatures.

'Come here and have a great big hug'
She squeezes me 'til I can't speak,
Then kisses me upon the cheek,
Saliva, lipstick, perfume ugh!

It's Christmas time I really fear.
It’s just the same year after year,
As I unwrap my worst nightmare,
A set of knitted underwear.

So this year I thought I'd treat her
To a gift which she could treasure
And would give me equal pleasure.
I've bought a Spiny Aunteater.