Dirty Poems

Embarking on writing poetry, it was never my intention to write dirty poems. The very first poems that I wrote, A Marriage Made in Heaven and Of Sound Mind, were written for my young nephew and niece to recite. For the next couple of years, my poetry consisted almost exclusively of funny poems for children. In 2003, I started tentatively extending my repertoire to include writing funny poems for adults and that is when the risqué and dirty poems started creeping in.

Risqué Poems or Dirty Poems?

I would class some of my poems as slightly riqué. Not exactly dirty poems, but capable of dirty interpretation. I am a firm believer that a funny poems which derive their comic effect from inneundo or word play are superior to poems relying on strings of expletives or sexual imagery. How to Sex a Dinosaur and Princess Margaret are examples of what I term clean dirty poems - they contain no vulgar language, instead relying on double entendre and missed rhymes for their humour, and dirtiness. The collection contains a few examples or really dirty poems - poems containing expletives, vulgar language, explicit medical terminology or sexual imagery. I must confess that I am much less satisfied in general by the really dirty poems than by the clean dirty poems, but I suspect the former are a much better reflection of my true personality, shaped by a childhood incarcerated in English public school (for Americans, read private), followed by five years at medical school.

Dirty Poems - An Apology

To those who have genuinely been offended by any of the poems, I offer a sincere apology. The site contains explicit warnings as to its content on the main entry pages; extending these warnings to include all the pages of the site would overwhelm the content. I take comfort from the fact that, although there are a number of poems I wouldn't recite to a child or a maiden aunt, even the dirtiest poems are unlikely to throw them into a permanent state of moral turpitude.

Dirty Poems - A Further Apology

For those expecting to find a succession of crude, rude or dirty poems, the site may prove something of a disappointment. There are dirty poems, even a few filthy poems, but they are interspersed with a number of entirely wholesome funny poems, and even the odd serious poem. I haven't flagged up the dirty poems in the index, partly because it encourages some people to skip the other poems and partly because I can't always decide which really are the dirty poems. However, for those who have come to the site looking exclusively for dirty poems and want to cut to the chase, Say Cheese, Stigmata, It's Just a Game and A Limerick Limerick all meet my definition of really dirty poems. A recent addition to the site is Peculiar Poetry's selection of guest poems, which includes sections devoted of funny dirty poems and to erotic poetry, much of which is filthy rather than funny.